Own Your Emotions

Very early in life, most of us are consciously or unconsciously taught to suppress, dismiss, invalidate, or ignore our emotions.  As we grow older, when we’re overcome with emotions we find ourselves unable to process or sort through our feelings and emotions.  Most of us do not have the desire or the ability to sit with our feelings, not fully understanding that such avoidance does not benefit us in any way, but rather results in the neglect of a vital part of our being. This neglect makes us look to others for validation of our emotions and often results in over-dependence on the people around us. What does it mean to own our emotions? What steps can we take to eventually normalize and be comfortable with all our emotions and all our feelings? This blog post will provide some answers.

Step 1: Acknowledgment- recognizing and accepting how we feel is the first step to owning our emotions.  Our instincts and bodies do a great job of telling us what we feel, but it’s up to us to be able to recognize and then accept what we’re experiencing.  

Step 2: Permission- The next step is that of granting ourselves permission to feel whatever it is we are feeling.  We do not need to feel bad because of what we feel, or rush to put an end to the feelings that we cannot understand or that we do not like. Rather,  allowing ourselves to be in whatever emotional state we are in for a period of time will cause us to process our emotions instead of pushing them away.  We must tell ourselves that it is ok to feel whatever we are feeling for no emotion is bad or wrong. We cannot only allow ourselves to feel certain emotions which we label as “positive” for all emotions are given to us for a reason and no emotion is better than another.

Step 3: Time- One of the barriers to owning our emotions is that of placing a time -limit on our emotions.   It’s easy to say “I’ve felt like this long enough” or “I’m not going to cry today” Or “I’m tired of feeling this way” and thus we suppress and ignore what our bodies and hearts are instructing us to do. There is no time limit for sorting through our emotions. We may move quicker or slower than we anticipate, but whatever time frame our emotions need from us is okay, no need to rush the process.

Step 4: Balance- Emotional and mental well-being is all about balance and such balance is necessary for owning our emotions.   We must strive for a balance of all our emotions - the ones that we like feeling (often labelled as “positive” emotions) and the ones that make us feel sad and low in our spirits (often labelled as “negative” emotions). Accepting all our emotions as valid and allowing ourselves to feel them results in a life that is emotionally balanced. While we allow ourselves to own our emotions and sit with them, we need to seek to continue living a productive life at the same time.  This would look like telling ourselves “I am giving myself the opportunity and time to own my emotions, but I am still going to complete a task or go to work.” This prevents us from ignoring what we feel, but rather owning what we feel and moving forward. 

Step 4: Growth- Learning to own our emotions allows us to grow emotionally.  Growth doesn’t mean that we get it “right” each time, but that we commit to the process of mental wellbeing even when we fall short.  For growth is progress not perfection.  

As you continue making your mental wellbeing a priority, we invite you into our offices so that we can walk alongside you as you own your emotions and grow emotionally.  The journey is bearable, and even enjoyable with support, encouragement, and a treatment plan. Contact us today.