Life and Living

Today, I sat in the audience in Tuscaloosa Alabama as my friend said goodbye to her mother - a godly woman who had been on this earth for close to 86 years. The extremely large crowd who came to pay their last respects, the children, grand - children and great-grandchildren who took part in the ceremony, and even the beautiful ceremony were strong indications that this lady had lived an impactful life and was going home to rest from her labors. Like most people, I tend to become reflective at funerals, weddings and baptisms. And so after the ceremony, we said our goodbyes and I allowed myself the luxury of reflecting on this business of life and living. Permit me to share a bit of my reflections:

For some people, life on this earth plane is as good as it gets- they are born into a loving family with privileges of being loved, cared for and provided for. These people, like everybody else have their own share of struggles - they often stumble, and life is sometimes difficult, but they tend to have a good support system, the luxury of good role models, and a strong foundation that allows them to re-build shattered dreams. They even have the luxury of being able to dream. And then there are others- the ones that seem to struggle from their first breath. These ones, perhaps born into a family where addiction is the norm or to parents that are either abusive or negligent, without healthy role models, brought into this world to sink or swim largely on their own. Or they may be born into single parent households, with parents that struggle every day just to put one foot in front of the other. For this set of babies, the only expectation is survival. They often do not have a strong support system and are often without a foundation and without the tools that they need to envision a glorious future. The odds seem completely stacked against them.

The only thing the former and the latter have in common is that both sets of babies are expected to make it in life, to survive and to often compete against limited resources with scarcely an acknowledgment of the fact that the playing field is not level. How does one survive without survival skills? How does one succeed without a foundation? And yet as hard as it may be they do survive. Both the ones that were born with certain privileges and the ones that weren’t -they survive. For the human spirit struggles to survive and dares to thrive even in the midst of the most adverse of circumstances.

As I slowly came out of my reflections, I was shocked to notice that tears were streaming down my face. Slowly I wiped them away and quietly applauded the strength of the human spirit - the ones who make it, despite the odds; the ones who take hit after hit but dare to believe that they will survive and even thrive.

So I beg of you, next time we see someone without what we think are the right coping skills or appropriate social skills, let’s take a moment and applaud them. For these may just be the ones who dare to stand tall and refuse to let their circumstances place limitations on them. And maybe, just maybe we can try to prop them up. For we are all in this business of life and living.

And when it gets hard, remember no one has to do it alone. Let us at Afangideh Therapy walk alongside you. Check us out at www.thealabamatherapist.com. Talk to Uduak or Sam today.

Together, let’s reflect, reset and resolve. Take charge of your mental wellbeing and schedule your consultation today.